Showing posts with label VENTING.. Show all posts
Showing posts with label VENTING.. Show all posts

April 2, 2009

I'm fatally inconsistent.

I like punching things; it makes my knuckles feel good and I like seeing that stripe of red skin around my knuckles. But I don't like hurting other people because it makes me feel really bad. Doesn't this sound conflicted to you? People don't believe me, and they always take me for some sadist even though I'm just a weakling. I am by no means a living weapon! :/

I've had "Boom Boom Boom Boom" stuck in my head all day. No lie. We were watching "Madagascar" in Spanish, so I decided to sleep. Only, I couldn't because I had that "whoa oh, whoa oh" part stuck in my head and it just. Wouldn't. LEAVE. During the logarithm test in fifth period I was completely confused on a lot of it, and I kept hearing "I want you in my room, let's spend the night together...". It's so bad. Never ever listen to '90s music the day before a test. Ironically, annoying bubblegum pop music is what I typically listen to while I work on essays and such. x] I don't know, I actually just tune them out anyway instead of listening. I think my mind recorded it, though, and forced me to play it back. Darn my love for chessy '90s music! It's so addicting.

//edit: I realize now, after listening to it AGAIN, that my heart beats in time with the song. Not with every 'BOOM', but pretty close. Especially the part that says, "I wanna go BOOM BOOM." My heart always goes BOOM BOOM perfectly with the song there. That's just the effect music has on me, I guess. :3

Today in Martial Arts, Mr. Sullivan decided to finally have Novice Black Belt testing for Sarah and Wil. And those goshdarn Freshman came in again! Go finish writing your essays and get your grade up, geez. Your mom grounded you for a reason, and getting a pass out of that class isn't helping you too much, hon'. Anyway, since me and Sarah are relatively the same height (I say "relatively" because I'm taller. Oh yeah! ^-^) Sullivan kept picking me to be the one to give her surprise headlocks. Unlike the time with Cristina, I was actually successful in both attempts at landing my flying headlocks. >:] The first one was a regular headlock, and I did a good job at "being realistic." YAAAAY~ The second time I just ran behind her and jumped to get some extra air before getting a hold of her neck. Mr. Sullivan was like, "WHOA! Heidi over here flying and doing jumping moves like a chola!" And then someone corrected him and said I was more like a "bro-ha"- whatever that is. I'm almost positive that I'd rather be compared to a chola. (/_- No, that wasn't the comparison I was going for; I wanted to look like some small Asian female ninja! :3 It was a good day, and I feel like I kind of redeemed myself for getting uber pwned during the last NBB test. Amir asked about Red Belt testing for me, Taejung, and Carlo, and now I know that next belt test is coming up in May. Next month. O_O Shit, I only have one stripe while the guys have three already! I really need to step it up!

On another note, Spring Break is less than 24 hours away! It's so close, now. And then tour is coming up in two weeks! I'm not too stoked on it anymore though, because there are just so many rules for it this year and it doesn't seem as if the ultra-epicness of last year is going to apply to us this year. I'm pretty darn sure my mom is going to demand that I be chaperoned, too. >x[ FML. I wish Concert Strings and Chamber could've been at Disneyland together, because that's what I was looking forward to the most. I mean, I wanted to go get Icees with Mark and buy shit I don't need with a BIG group! BUT NO, Concert has to go to Disneyland on a completely different day than us. That sucks a worthog's balls dry. -____-

Commas aren't my favorite punctuation mark, but they're the most prevalent in my writing. I like exclamation marks and the ~ sign, but neither are appropriate to use everywhere. :T

HAHA, sometimes I just have nothing to blog about. Sometimes I have a really good idea for a blog, like something higly philosophical or thought-provoking. But they all come to me at the most inopportune times or when I'm too busy doing something important to remember my awesome ideas. And then you, my lovely readers, are faced with this sort of utter crap when you log into Blogger and read your blog updates.

March 18, 2009

I'm in luff.

You know, that level in between like and love? ;]
I'm not too sure on what we are now or where we're going, but I know that I like it. I know that I want to pursue this, and I know that it could be something great in my life. It's in the awkward stage right now though, and I don't like it. Before, we were butting heads, then we got to know each other, and then we became comfortable with each other.
But I don't want comfort. I want passion. I want obvious reminders of affection and love. I want to know for sure that I'm getting as much as I'm putting in.
And I'm sorry if that doesn't work for you.

March 11, 2009

Change

Change. We claim a need for it, yet find adversity as the process of change occurs. When the change has taken place, we are not satisfied and yearn for yet another change to fix the imperfections we find in it.
I find that to be sort of sad. That's not to say that I don't succumb to the same thinking, but I definitely don't like it.
I admit it: I hate change. I don't understand why things can't just be perfect for everyone, everywhere. Why can't people just accept life as it is? What happened to human race's ability to adapt? SERIOUSLY. It's like all of us are a bunch of dumb, indecisive complainers. Gosh, people can be such freaking buttheads. However, I do understand that change is part of life, that shifting our lives' priorities and perspectives can yield beautiful things.~
But sometimes, the process of change forces us to make sacrifices- sometimes causing immense pain. Change takes us out of our comfort zones and pressures us to modify something about ourselves, when we would much rather hold on to what is familiar.
For me, I have put a hold on buying video games in order to divide my money towards more clothes and saving up some cash for the upcoming Anaheim tour. Video games versus shopping? A tough choice for me, but hey, my more feminine side kicked in on that one after I bought three games in a matter of two weeks. xP
On another note, personal relationships have changed. I've slowly been realizing who matters to me, who doesn't matter at all, who I need to reconnect with, who I want to keep around, and who seriously need to have a talk with. However, I've also been making an effort to be sensitive to how others feel; now I have a faint idea of who loves me, who hates me, who makes time for me, who wants me around forever, and who has outgrown me as a friend. With this, the only thing left to do is take action. To make a change.
It's easy not to do anything. It's often more convenient sit and hope that things will fix themselves. But wouldn't it be better if we moved towards our goals, our ideals- even if it means getting hurt in the process?

March 10, 2009

FML, I hate making schedules.

Sophomore year is utter crap, and I can't fight the urge to blog. It keeps my thoughts in order.

Things to do: Now- Tomorrow Morning!
Now-10:30| "Meiji Restoration" Change Analysis and "Taiping Rebellion" Conflict Analysis
10:40-11:10| Shower and other pre-bedtime rituals
11:15-1:00AM| APWH Readers
1:00-4:00| Fun time= Play FFX! ^-^
4:05-5:30| Overdue math homework
5:35-6:35| Get ready for school and eaaat. :D
6:35-6:55| Print out APWH shit.
7:00-7:10| Ride to school
7:15-8:54| First period, Farson's ramblings. Hole punch AWPH shit and finish anything that needs finishing.

*Sigh*. I can't keep living like this.